August 21, 2010

Sometimes I float away to an island all to myself. There I imagine life the way I want it. I imagine myself the way I wanna be…different. Beautiful. I imagine myself as a tall, skinny, black woman with long flowing thick black hair and light brown eyes. I envision myself soaring around the world extending help to all who need it and my wrath to all that cross me.

When I was younger, I named that person Tatiana. I chose that name because it means Fairy Queen, and she became the justice and security I had never known. And the courage I never had. So now when I need her. I drift away to an island all to myself. My safe, comfortable, green block of solid rock floating in the sky. There the grass is always green, the trees are always alive, and the birds sing sweetly. There I can escape the harsh realities of this world. There I have no worries. No concerns about my job, career, or future choices. There I can live in the moment instead of preparing for the future. There I can be free, I am at peace. There its always dawn.

This is where my emotions run pure and unfiltered. Here I am at home. Here I think of how to overcome life;s changes and difficulties. Like: Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I have to offer? How will I make my mark? Here I write, as I have done for years. Here I control my life. Here on my Island all to myself. As Queen of my castle, my fort, my Island. My own Island all to myself.