January 11, 2011 –

There are always a plethora of ideas for topics running through my head of things to write about. I have so much to say about everything. But today’s topic will be less conventional and cliche then love and pain. Today’s topic is about life. More specifically mime I have honestly had a horrible week. I’ve lost my job and almost lost an extremely important friendship all at once. It was one of the most rough weeks of my life, but I made it through it. Which leads me to believe that just maybe, i might be able to make it through this year.

I was almost over extremeness of this week. When i had the most off the wall dream last night. Yes. I am going to tell you about my dream. Now it was off the wall for a few reasons. I’ll state them after i’m done telling you my dream. I dreamed that I was pregnant. I was about five months and really excited. I wrote as my facebook status that I couldn’t wait to see my babies face. Then I was in a hospital bed and the baby was next to me. It was as if i had just woken up. I looked out the door and my mom walked in. I asked if she had been there for the birth she said no she had been at work. So i picked up my baby and there he was a little boy. I thought he was ugly and i couldn’t think of a name for him. I kept throwing out names and none seemed to fit. Then i heard yelling from downstairs. I went and checked. It was my aunt yelling at me for keep my money laying around the house. I walked into the kitchen and my sister was taking money out of my shoebox. There was only 130 bucks left. I had over 400 in the box. She told me that she only took 100 and that ma had took some. Then i’m in the living room with the baby yelling at my family about how the money was for the baby and how i needed clothes and food for him. I asked if it was to late to have a baby shower. She said yes and that she was disappointed in me for not having one since he was my first baby. I started yelling because they’d threw one for my sister without her asking. I told them that i had no idea this baby was coming so soon. Then I took him over to the mirror, my aunt’s children started running around, and I looked at my son. He smiled at me and I finally loved him. Then i gave him the middle name of Jayden after one of my cousin’s that i like. He smiled and grew to about six years jumped out of my arms and ran with the other kids. Then i woke up.

Now the odd parts of the dream were that i wasn’t in the home I normally dream i’m in. I dreamed i was in a house i’ve never been in, but it was my home. I also dreamed I had a boy. I’ve never dreamed that i’ve had a boy before. After calling  20 people and finally reading some websites and talking to my mom. I finally came to terms with my dream. Which is part of the reason i’m blogging. Apparently pregnancy dreams tend to be about a birth of a new idea or adventure. Well i’ve had several ideas of books or short stories to write. I guess it’s finally time to stop procrastinating and write them. The boy part to me means that there will be an unexpected change that i will not like, but that it will turn out be something I love. And i will enjoy if as soon as I finally embrace it. So I’m embracing everything. And maybe this time, I actually write more then two blogs and month.

Oh and did i mention. I’m not actually pregnant and I don’t have any children. So no it’s not wish fulfillment.