August 30, 2010

As a child, one of my favorite things to do was spin around in a circle. I was stand in an open area, spread my arms all the way out, look to the skies, and spin around until I fell over. Then, regaining my balance as I stood, I was head along on my marry little way with at laugh. It was something fun to do. I’d just drop everything and start to spin. It was a release, an escape. A way to remind me that at the end of the day the only thing that kept me connected to the earth was gravity which was a wonderful thought. Then one day I just stopped spinning, probably about the same time I stopped doing cartwheels and flips. One day I just grew up and no long found joy in feeling the wind touch my face as it blew threw my hair. One day I just woke up an adult and all activities related to being a child just seemed trivial. So I stopped spinning, or so I thought.
As it turns out, I’ve been spinning everyday since that moment I gave it up. I’ve been spinning in my heart and spirit, in my dreams, in my goals, in my life. I’ve been spinning in my head trying to regain the joy I felt spinning as a child. I just never noticed because I thought that’s what happened all grown ups. I thought you grew up, problems came, and you were unhappy. So instead of spinning physically, i began to spin my my head which is much more dangerous. All of the sudden I was off the ground, there’s not gravity in my head, and spinning at such a speed with such intensity that I began to spin into a celestial orbit. From the skies I watched my life and chase my past happiness. I began to try to rekindle old loves and pursue childhood loves only to find that they didn’t suit me anymore because I was no longer that person. Time has changed me as I’ve chased my past. The younger me wasn’t better, she was skinnier, but not better just different. I have evolved into a new person with new likes and dislikes. As a butterfly changes from a caterpillar into its new self, as have I. A new me. A different me, but me none the less. So now if you see me on the street spinning. Don’t laugh. Join me. As I remember the past but live in the present. If I want to feel the wind in my hair then I shall spin because there is no substitute for the real thing. Plus if I keep spinning in my head, I’ll be a 50 year old lady wondering where my life went, and why I’m still in school. Join me as I spin, throwing all caution to the wind literally, and let gravity remind you that it’s there to keep you safe and securely planted on Earth. Where you should be, living your life day by day, not watching it from the side lines. After all, life is not a spectator sport and neither is spinning.